It was like something out of the movies! Except that it was on radio. The first broadcast of the Beautifulyoo.com Show on the 6th October, the first English programme ever on our local Spanish speaking station Radio Alora.
Chaos on a stick, yet a resounding success, despite a strangling chain of hilarious technical disasters, although it must be said that the fact that it took place at all was a credit to the good humour of the man at the controls, who is currently suffering from a failed cataract operation in one eye and could hardly see a thing. Shameful ineptitude with the language was my disability and between the two of us we made sure that everything was left to chance, my virtually irrelevant, carefully prepared programme at least providing a crumpled souvenir at the end of the show.
Having started ten minutes late, because none of the microphones would work, yet happy to have actually started, we listened in horror as our signature tune, September, specially produced and recorded for us by friend and sound technician Azy, was chopped in half, leaving a gaping silence.
“Música!” we called desperately and in vain. “Donde ésta la música?”
Already determined by this stage to get my hands on the controls next time, no matter what the consequences, I ad libbed as best as possible until suddenly the music blasted forth, our guests, gardening expert Sherill and bird watcher Keith, ripping off their headphones which were crackling painfully in their ears.
Sherill’s interview went very well, calm, interesting and most entertaining. The next song was introduced.
“The next song now, please,” I indicated to the man at the controls.
Silence. He was gesturing wildly, apparently suffering from some kind of delusion that I could hear him speaking through my headphones.
“Hullo, Keith,” I said quickly, going straight into the next interview without the planned intervening song.
“Hullo, thank you for having us on the show,” he said good naturedly, perhaps with one eye on the door and half a thought of legging it down the corridor.
Keith was brilliant too, but in the middle of it the man at the controls, perhaps bored with so much English conversation, suddenly asked if we would like some more music.
“Un momento,” I called and he smiled with a shrug of resignation, taking off his headphones.
Things picked up dramatically after that, albeit without an occasional, fully expected hitch, the worst being a sudden wild guitar introduction to a lovely, gentle melody by OCI Radio presenter and musician Peter Edgerton, who had agreed to let us play a few songs from his latest album Gold and Amber (see www.e-peter.com).
Sorry, Peter!
And then the adverts, which we had sweated blood to sell and had spent hours recording the week before in Alora.
“No pasa nada,” the control man had announced on arrival. “I have forgotten to bring the disk with the recorded advertisements.”
“No pasa nada!” I repeated incredulously, my head spinning as he calmly suggested that we should simply ad lib them, not worrying about the fact that we had no contact details liked telephone numbers or email addresses for our fully paid-up clients, who I said to Keith would all be bound to claim back both their euros.
Sincere thanks to the stalwart man at the controls. And thanks to Keith and Sherill.
It actually happened, that’s the important thing. And we enjoyed it tremendously. And as for all our listeners?
“Hullo, is there anybody out there?”
In Keith’s journal the next day he made the prediction that the Beautifulyoo.com Show would soon become essential listening for the English speaking community in the area.
We hope so. As keen as we are to integrate with our Spanish compatriots, we do enjoy an occasional relaxing chat in English. And why not?

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